I haven't posted for a while. I have really been trying to discover what life is like without having a computer or phone screen glaring back at you. The school year is ending, and as sad as that may seem sometimes, as much as I know I will miss some good friendships, and as much as I worry about what summer holds for me, I cant wait to leave. I have never had much if an independent personality. I love to rely on boyfriends, friends and family, anyone I know that will be there for me really. But I am so excited to go and be on my own this summer. This school year has been incredibly challenging. My friendships have been tested, my relationship failed and the problems that surrounded my family seemed innumerable sometimes. Its funny, as I sit here and the sun shines down on me I wonder how I made it through this year.
As I start the summer before my last year at WKU and as my brother goes off to Switzerland for two years and as my group of friends all branch out in various directions I cant help but sit and think of the work God will be doing through it all. I recently finished a book called, "A Praying Life" and the last page of the book reads, "God bids us to choose, do we believe or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to notice our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?" I am leaving WKU without looking back and wondering what could have been in the last year. I am leaving with an open mind as to what could be this summer. Most importantly, I am leaving with no regrets because through everything this past year, God has proven time and time again that He remains faithful.
I have sat and tried to find an eloquent way to say this, but cant, so here goes, none of this stuff matters. As much as we want hurt to overwhelm us, and as much time we waste thinking about parties and homework and where we sit in the scheme of life, it doesn't matter. Our relationships with people matter. Put time and thought into that. Friendships and family are what we have, so allow them to grow. Put time into people instead of mundanely flipping through Facebook, even though we are all aware that nothing interesting is on there. Pursue people, seek people out, be in constant fellowship. I don't want to waste a minute of my summer. I want to serve, submit to and love each relationship that is built this summer. So this is my goodbye WKU. Ill see you next year.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Ms. Jenny
I've been waiting for these moments for a long time. Moments where I can give of myself to people and vise versa, moments to learn and grow, moments to cherish and love and moments to remember with every fiber of my being. I've been looking forward to this mission trip to St. Louis for a long time but I have to say, more than half of my experiences I completely unexpected.
Throughout our trip we stayed at a multilingual church on the outskirts of St. Louis. We served various people in various ways. We built houses, literally gluing bricks together with wet concrete, roofing, raking, staining, building, organizing and much more. We served different groups of people ranging from widows, homeless, the poor, the lonely and the actual church itself. We became plugged into the church and learned about the different ministries it had to offer. We learned the history of the church and St. Louis and most importantly, we talked with members of the church, specifically Ms. Jenny.
Ms. Jenny is a 90 year old woman who lives in a 5 room house by herself. She keeps her memories on her walls as they are covered in pictures and pictures from her past, she calls this her scrapbook. Ms. Jenny has never been married but had brothers and sisters and actually, a pretty large family. She told stories of discrimination and how difficult life has been for her in the past, and as she talked about the unsteadiness that surrounded her for years, it was clear that God remained and still remains the only stable concept in her life. She is someone to live by, someone who has gone through trials, lost relationships and someone who has lived on a small portion of money, yet has a relationship with God that is far grander than anything I have ever witnessed.
As our conversation with Ms. Jenny deepened, she closed her eyes and slowly began to rock back and forth and after a few long seconds of silence she finally said, " Girls, will you do me a favor? Will you just help people? Help them even if you don't know them. Help them even if they pretend they don't want help. Help them even if you are in a hurry. Help them because that is what the good Lord calls us to do." Ms. Jenny became a part of me that day and she will always live with me. I read once, " Sometimes you have to venture outside of your world in order to find yourself." God sent me out of my world to find myself by using Ms. Jenny and others to help shape me and for that I am priveleged.
Throughout our trip we stayed at a multilingual church on the outskirts of St. Louis. We served various people in various ways. We built houses, literally gluing bricks together with wet concrete, roofing, raking, staining, building, organizing and much more. We served different groups of people ranging from widows, homeless, the poor, the lonely and the actual church itself. We became plugged into the church and learned about the different ministries it had to offer. We learned the history of the church and St. Louis and most importantly, we talked with members of the church, specifically Ms. Jenny.
Ms. Jenny is a 90 year old woman who lives in a 5 room house by herself. She keeps her memories on her walls as they are covered in pictures and pictures from her past, she calls this her scrapbook. Ms. Jenny has never been married but had brothers and sisters and actually, a pretty large family. She told stories of discrimination and how difficult life has been for her in the past, and as she talked about the unsteadiness that surrounded her for years, it was clear that God remained and still remains the only stable concept in her life. She is someone to live by, someone who has gone through trials, lost relationships and someone who has lived on a small portion of money, yet has a relationship with God that is far grander than anything I have ever witnessed.
As our conversation with Ms. Jenny deepened, she closed her eyes and slowly began to rock back and forth and after a few long seconds of silence she finally said, " Girls, will you do me a favor? Will you just help people? Help them even if you don't know them. Help them even if they pretend they don't want help. Help them even if you are in a hurry. Help them because that is what the good Lord calls us to do." Ms. Jenny became a part of me that day and she will always live with me. I read once, " Sometimes you have to venture outside of your world in order to find yourself." God sent me out of my world to find myself by using Ms. Jenny and others to help shape me and for that I am priveleged.
Monday, February 25, 2013
beauty.
This weekend I was priveleged to go on a retreat with a group of incredibly awesome people. I was disconnected with the world of Western Kentucky University and locked into the campground of Fall Creek Falls and the sights it had to offer. We took part in bible studies, seminars, church services and a hike. It wasnt until I was in a complete trance while looking at the falls that I realized how easily we can completely look over the beauty of the creator.
I wonder if we are so consumed with sadness, anger and destruction that sometimes completely captivates us, that we miss the beauty that surrounds us daily. Do we ever sit and witness the creation of God or is it overlooked because schoolwork, friends and daily routines remain at the forefront of our thoughts? The Beauty of our creator is something we should costantly be looking for because it can sustain us as Christians. When things seem hectic and almost impossible, God has a way of showing His beauty through people, places and experiences. When I say beauty, I dont mean just a physical appearance, but I mean an inner beauty that can only be seen if we actually take a minute to stop and look. Each of us wants beauty in our lives, whether it is the way we look, the things we create or the experiences we have because beauty radiates happiness. C.S. Lewis states it well, “We do not want merely to see beauty... we want something else which can hardly be put into words- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it."
Beauty can shape us as people. It can help us appreciate the miniscule things that are usually overlooked, it can help us to live in the moment rather than always seeking to the future, and it can show us God in some of the easiest and smallest ways. Fall Creek Falls is a beauiful place that was intracetley formed in an image of God. It is a place that brought me back to the reality of the world God created and it gave me hope that difficult situations usually have a beautiful outcome, big or small.
I wonder if we are so consumed with sadness, anger and destruction that sometimes completely captivates us, that we miss the beauty that surrounds us daily. Do we ever sit and witness the creation of God or is it overlooked because schoolwork, friends and daily routines remain at the forefront of our thoughts? The Beauty of our creator is something we should costantly be looking for because it can sustain us as Christians. When things seem hectic and almost impossible, God has a way of showing His beauty through people, places and experiences. When I say beauty, I dont mean just a physical appearance, but I mean an inner beauty that can only be seen if we actually take a minute to stop and look. Each of us wants beauty in our lives, whether it is the way we look, the things we create or the experiences we have because beauty radiates happiness. C.S. Lewis states it well, “We do not want merely to see beauty... we want something else which can hardly be put into words- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it."
Beauty can shape us as people. It can help us appreciate the miniscule things that are usually overlooked, it can help us to live in the moment rather than always seeking to the future, and it can show us God in some of the easiest and smallest ways. Fall Creek Falls is a beauiful place that was intracetley formed in an image of God. It is a place that brought me back to the reality of the world God created and it gave me hope that difficult situations usually have a beautiful outcome, big or small.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
A treasured gift.
The knowledge God has is incredible. It is something none of us can fathom or even attempt to comprehend. So why do we continue to try and lead as if we know more than He does? Recently, I have been trying to understand why God chooses certain people to enter our lives. What roles do people play in our lives and why has God chosen those distinct people to coexist with you or me? God puts people in our lives to challenge us, to support us and to hurt us, therefore making us stronger as human beings and as followers of Christ.
I have been blessed with people who have challenged me, shaped me and loved me and these people have become my greatest gifts in life. Tonight I was priveleged to share in conversation with a friend who told me a lot of things that were difficult to hear as he frustrated me to no end. He challenged me and forced my knowledge to expand. Although he doesnt give himself enough credit, he has shared in my pain, given me strength in hard situations and has always blatantly told me the truth, whether it is something I wanted at the time or not. He never ceases to give good advice; he would be the challenger. My mother and father have been the ones who love me unconditionally, when a lot of times I'm sure it seems impossible. Their love is one that represents Gods love for each of his children as they give me the grace and patience that is usually undeserved. My deepest and closest friend, Lili, has shaped me in more ways than one. She holds my fondest memories as she laughs at my corny jokes and has endured the incredibly awkward teenage years with me. These people, each of these people is a gift from God, people God put into my life to help me out of dark times and to share in happiness with. Our relationships are things I believe God wants us to treasure most, because after all, He does continue to pursue us minute after minute, day after day. Each person we meet transforms is and helps us to become more than just ourselves. Our relationships force us to become part of one another as we give little bits of our knowledge and personality traits to various people we meet along our journey. I have just been blessed with unique, strong, lovely people, who have helped make me more than I ever thought I could be. This gift from God will always be treasured.
I have been blessed with people who have challenged me, shaped me and loved me and these people have become my greatest gifts in life. Tonight I was priveleged to share in conversation with a friend who told me a lot of things that were difficult to hear as he frustrated me to no end. He challenged me and forced my knowledge to expand. Although he doesnt give himself enough credit, he has shared in my pain, given me strength in hard situations and has always blatantly told me the truth, whether it is something I wanted at the time or not. He never ceases to give good advice; he would be the challenger. My mother and father have been the ones who love me unconditionally, when a lot of times I'm sure it seems impossible. Their love is one that represents Gods love for each of his children as they give me the grace and patience that is usually undeserved. My deepest and closest friend, Lili, has shaped me in more ways than one. She holds my fondest memories as she laughs at my corny jokes and has endured the incredibly awkward teenage years with me. These people, each of these people is a gift from God, people God put into my life to help me out of dark times and to share in happiness with. Our relationships are things I believe God wants us to treasure most, because after all, He does continue to pursue us minute after minute, day after day. Each person we meet transforms is and helps us to become more than just ourselves. Our relationships force us to become part of one another as we give little bits of our knowledge and personality traits to various people we meet along our journey. I have just been blessed with unique, strong, lovely people, who have helped make me more than I ever thought I could be. This gift from God will always be treasured.
Monday, February 18, 2013
reliability.
I am currently reading this book called, "A Praying Life." The book is centered on how we as human beings connect with God in a busy, distracting world. The book goes through, chapter by chapter, and helps the reader to form better methods to praying. In my latest chapter on cynicism, the author states it perfectly,"At some point each of us comes face to face with the valley of the shadow of death. We cant ignore it. We cant remain neutral with evil. We either give up and distance ourselves, or we learn to walk with the shepherd. There is no middle ground." These insightful words describe my last few months to a tee.
I always thought I knew who I was. I succeeded in school, had close relationships with many and had lots of interests. i love all of these things.... and then I loved God. I put everything I thought to be important before God because everything in life seemed picture perfect. But when everything I thought to be true changed, I felt helpless and didn't know what to do because I relied on things that in reality turned out to be unimportant. But it wasn't until I felt completely helpless that I knew God was actually moving in my life. Of course in the midst of the darkness I didn't see what God was doing, but I had to take a step out of the pit to see how far I had come. God helped me to realize that everything I depended on didn't matter, what mattered was my relationship with the Lord, which I had put on hold for a very, very long time. I prayed when I was upset and the rest of the time I assumed that God would always be there when I needed him. But I hadn't realized that my need for God was an ever present need. It never ended. As human beings it is easy to rely on things that are tactile and can speak back in ways in which we can understand, but God doesn't call us to do that. I learned to walk with the shepherd and he led me out of the valley of the shadow of death. Of course I still miss those things I believed to be true, of course I am still presented with struggles daily and of course I still forget to pray when things seem to be okay. But I've learned that God knows our needs. We don't. So why do we consistently rely on everybody but God? He has to be our reliability because He is the only stable things we have.
I always thought I knew who I was. I succeeded in school, had close relationships with many and had lots of interests. i love all of these things.... and then I loved God. I put everything I thought to be important before God because everything in life seemed picture perfect. But when everything I thought to be true changed, I felt helpless and didn't know what to do because I relied on things that in reality turned out to be unimportant. But it wasn't until I felt completely helpless that I knew God was actually moving in my life. Of course in the midst of the darkness I didn't see what God was doing, but I had to take a step out of the pit to see how far I had come. God helped me to realize that everything I depended on didn't matter, what mattered was my relationship with the Lord, which I had put on hold for a very, very long time. I prayed when I was upset and the rest of the time I assumed that God would always be there when I needed him. But I hadn't realized that my need for God was an ever present need. It never ended. As human beings it is easy to rely on things that are tactile and can speak back in ways in which we can understand, but God doesn't call us to do that. I learned to walk with the shepherd and he led me out of the valley of the shadow of death. Of course I still miss those things I believed to be true, of course I am still presented with struggles daily and of course I still forget to pray when things seem to be okay. But I've learned that God knows our needs. We don't. So why do we consistently rely on everybody but God? He has to be our reliability because He is the only stable things we have.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
rest.
I've finally discovered what it means to rest. I think as human beings we often times associate rest with sleep. We also might associate rest with the mundane, repetitive motions of flipping through channels as we find something that has potential of grasping our attention.
I think a lot of times peace and complete content can follow rest, thats why God asks us to do it as often as we can. Bowling Green has been blessed with large amounts of farmland and country roads where one can drive and look up at the open sky full of stars and a moon that can only be seen on rare occasions; this has become my favorite form of resting. Resting has to be something that allows our minds to discover something unexpected, or it could be a way in which we can unfold the day that just ended. Rest is a way to find something to be thankful for, something our creator gave us, something that has shaped us in some way. Rest is so much more than watching your favorite episode of NCIS (I say that because this is a favorite in my house) but it is a simple time to just baske in the presence of God. Resting is a time away from the electronics and the media, it's a time to dwell on the simple things, or to share in a conversation with God. It could be a time to light a sweet smelling candle or unpack a favorite book, it could even be a time to snuggle up with a favorite pet. Whatever your form of resting might be, enjoy it, because before you know it, you're thoughts are trying to catch up to your actions all over again.
I think a lot of times peace and complete content can follow rest, thats why God asks us to do it as often as we can. Bowling Green has been blessed with large amounts of farmland and country roads where one can drive and look up at the open sky full of stars and a moon that can only be seen on rare occasions; this has become my favorite form of resting. Resting has to be something that allows our minds to discover something unexpected, or it could be a way in which we can unfold the day that just ended. Rest is a way to find something to be thankful for, something our creator gave us, something that has shaped us in some way. Rest is so much more than watching your favorite episode of NCIS (I say that because this is a favorite in my house) but it is a simple time to just baske in the presence of God. Resting is a time away from the electronics and the media, it's a time to dwell on the simple things, or to share in a conversation with God. It could be a time to light a sweet smelling candle or unpack a favorite book, it could even be a time to snuggle up with a favorite pet. Whatever your form of resting might be, enjoy it, because before you know it, you're thoughts are trying to catch up to your actions all over again.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
wisdom
I've found over the last few months that wisdom comes in many forms and in various strides. Gaining wisdom can be the most heart warming and heart breaking adventure one can endure, and in my situation it has been equal parts of both. The Lord broke my heart, but not only that, He broke me down to my lowest point and He has slowly been building me back up, intricately forming me to become the one He wants me to be. I have discovered that following God, a lot of times, seems almost impossible, but I live in the hope that He will make me whole and teach me things far beyond anything I can now comprehend. The more I learn about God, the harder I find myself pushing to get closer and closer to Him.
This blog will unpack the wisdom God has imparted on me. I hope it will display the ways in which I have grown and continue to grow. My hope for this blog is to allow my thoughts room to unweave the tangled web they have woven. My first piece of wisdom is soon to come, but until next time, keep an open mind, because wisdom a lot of times is incredibly unexpected.
This blog will unpack the wisdom God has imparted on me. I hope it will display the ways in which I have grown and continue to grow. My hope for this blog is to allow my thoughts room to unweave the tangled web they have woven. My first piece of wisdom is soon to come, but until next time, keep an open mind, because wisdom a lot of times is incredibly unexpected.
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